These thoughts are meant to make your script a better, faster read and also to hopefully make you think more about the structure and words that you use in  your screenplay.

Overall thoughts on page 1: What did I get myself into?  Just a tough read honestly.  The page doesn't seem to flow like it needs to.  Having to try and figure out who's talking in the background and then why I'm looking at this picture of this person, etc.  I believe it's Brian Koppelman that says, "Calculate less."  And I can't stress that saying enough.  I might use it more often during this 10PTT.  You're job is to get this story across to the reader as best you can.  Read it to yourself, if you can't figure out how to explain something ask someone.  Especially now that you have found some communities where people are willing to help you.  It was prefaced that this was a flashback so I'm really hoping that it is a needed flashback.  Does this flashback come back into play later?  Is it essential to the story in the long run? 

1. Home of the Earnhart Family can be reduced to Earnhart Family Home and you aren't losing anything.

2. You have already said that it's daytime in the scene heading so explaining that there is warm daylight coming in doesn't add anything.

3-4. Is there a reason that all photos of Kate have the words serious in front of them?  And also, the way you are slowly showing this photos.  I think it would be better if you set that up in an opening description line and then during each of these you can use less.  Like in the main description you write something like.  A beautifully decorated home, we slowly move down the hallway and scan pictures as...
and then start the dialogue. You could also set up the family here so that you don't have to explain the age and person so much in every line of dialogue.  In the description give the details on the family and then you can just interlace who's picture we are scanning by.  And if you are trying to get across that Kate is a hard working person then you should use some other words to get this point across.  Just saying serious over and over is doing nothing for the reader.  And you are saying a serious photograph, not a photograph of a serious Kate so is the photograph serious? 

5. Anytime you use age, I believe the proper form is 9-year-old.  You need some comma's as well.  Just open up any pro script and see how they introduce characters and realize that you are probably thinking too much about it.  If these characters are only going to be here for a few pages then does it really matter about all their details? 

6. your should be you're

7. However is a bad word to use for a character.  How often in real life do you hear people use that word?  Maybe if you lost the but in the previous sentence then you could replace However with but.  Or you could lose the entire I know you're excited line because he is a dad so he doesn't have to reason with her if he doesn't want to.  He can just tell her.  It's your sisters turn but you can put your button down.

Will be back with the second page over the weekend.  This one took a lot out of me.  Like I said, I am not a pro.  Do not take this as harshly as I might have made it out to be.  I want to help you be a better writer so hopefully this doesn't come off as mean.

Do you have a log line for it?  

I know you have posted the rest of the story for it but I'm actually more interested in what your one line is.

How long is your final draft?

Also, I have already marked the entire 10 pages.  I just haven't taken the time to explain the marks yet but I will finish it for you and hopefully it will help you on a re-write or on a future project.  Like I said, nothing says my notes are the right way.  

Also, I personally don't think Joe is the best example of who to read.  His scripts have never done anything for me.  Sure, he sells some, so there is something there but does he sell the log line or the actual script?  Have you read the contact script? 
Here's a link to it: http://sfy.ru/?script=contact
Notice how nobody's age is given...

"When brilliant scientist Megan Earnhart's time machine gives her a second chance at knowing her dead fiance and mother..."

Stop right there.  I'm reading that as (and don't try to stop me): Megan's dead fiance is ALSO her mother.  A gender-bending time-travel movie.  Something only a kink in time could allow.

Pedro Almodóvar, when you arrive here via Google Alerts, you're so very welcome.

135 pages is long and just from reading the first 10 I expected you to hit me with a number like that. 

I highly recommend reading more professional scripts. 

I am not familiar with Trottier.  I tend to stay away from the bibles thinking that you more learn from reading than being told how to write.  Read good scripts as they can inspire you and show you new ways.  Read bad scripts so that you know what to avoid in your script.  It's all about the flow of the script and making it an easy read. 

Would someone not read 135 pages?  No, I'm not saying that.  But right now the quality on your pages would make it very difficult for someone to not give up.

When I think of scripts that flow.  I think of Brothers Bloom, and Looper is a sci-fi one that flows well.  The Stanford Prison Experiment is one that I thought was a quick read.  Godless is a longer script that I absolutely could not put down. 

Thanks PP. After I wrote it and read it back to myself, I knew it needed changing. But I can't go back in and edit here. I'll work on the logline.

I'll see if I can find Looper for you.

I'm gonna try to make this page shorter on my explanations just because...

1. I'd reword this.  Maybe lose the 60% line.  Is it necessary to get the point across that the character is making.

2. There needs to be an of in there somewhere.  opposite ends of a table not, opposite end table. Speaking of.  Why does the size of the table even matter? 

3. Off Screen dialogue that doesn't matter to the story.  I'd cut it.

4. Reading Norman Rockwell's street's just reads odd to me.  Maybe Rockwell-esque street. 

5. The scene is taking place in the basement but you say that her house is messy?  Are we establishing the house as well as the basement?  Or is just the basement that is messy?

Also, I am a firm believer in the try not to make description lines more than 3 lines long.  If you have to then separate them into more than paragraph.   Chances are if you start separating them into 3 lines you can find some lines that aren't essential to getting your vision across.

Page 5.

1. Do you see that added space between laser and beams?  Because I do.

2. I find this to be over descriptive.  There's a laser with a dot.  That's the main point of this two description blocks, right?  Does it oscillating matter?  Does the reader need to know every square inch of the lasers?

3. Another unneeded comma in that line.

4. This is a line that I would trim down to get to one line since it's not that imperative to story.  Rogan sets the drinks on a table and approaches Megan.  Does she need her arms crossed?  Is that conveying something secretly that I, as the reader, don't know about.

5. She just referred to her as Rogan on the previous page and now she is putting the Miss in front of her name.  Does she need to use the name at all.  There is no one else in the basement so can't she just say, "Look at this."?

Half way through the ten pages and honestly, I would have stopped here had this site been called 5PTT.  So far there is nothing to keep me going.  Do I want to know why the kids are moving crimson buttons a quarter inch with their minds?  Not really because it's only a quarter inch.  Low stakes = low rewards.  Do I want to see why the house is shaking?  Well I see this laser beam is doing it and I don't know why this laser beam even exists.  particle something something something else.  But what does that really mean?  Are we searching for the meaning of life with atoms here?  Are we smashing particles to try to produce something?  I have no idea.  Maybe we will find out over the next 5 pages and then I will be sucked into the story.