02PTT: Scriptshadow Secrets by Carson Reeves (Part Two)

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EDIT: Part One here.

With footnotes included, the Scriptshadow Secrets 02PTT comes in at only one page.  Oops.

Here's a part two to reinforce the numbers.

I overshot, so this ends up being a 03PTT.  I won't fix the topic title.  Lazy Pitchpatch is lazy.

Same drill as before: the edited pages with tracking and footnotes, the clean edit, and finally the clean original.

As always, my rewriting choices may not sync with yours, and I don't claim to be right.  I might not hit the best revision often, but I know I'm swinging in the right direction.  The tenets of good writing change very little over time.

Buy Scriptshadow's book on Amazon then comment, rate and admire.  Be mindful of Scriptshadow's alleged review guidelines, as posted by a reviewer on the book's Amazon page:

"I DO NOT WANT YOU TO LIE in your review! Be honest, please. That's important to me. I'm just aiming for 300 Amazon reviews, good, bad, or indifferent, and I know you guys can get me there. Sorry, I will not send the scripts until your review posts. For some, that might entail a 2 day waiting period. But it'll be worth it!"

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I notice the redlining in LibreOffice gets munged here and there with repeat revisions, so don't get confused where the underlying original text makes no sense.  Pull up the clean original and the clean final edit side by side in browser windows -- much easier to follow.

Glaringly, I left tracking on when doing a couple footnotes, so you'll see the revisions to my own text.  Writing is rewriting, folks!

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The clean edit, page 1:

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The clean edit, page 2:

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The original text, page 1.  Ignore the erroneous line return I introduced near the bottom when transcribing.

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The original text, page 2: